Five simple fucking ingredients in this bitch right here. This is some good shit to make when you are feeling bougie as fuck. High-fructose corn syrup? Naw son, I don’t play that. Hit this with some vodka though, different story. Max relax.
LAVENDER LEMONADE
5 cups of water
1/2 -3/4 cup sugar (yeah, it is fucking lemonade. without the sugar it is just real sour fucking water)
3/4 cup Meyer lemon juice, about 6 lemons (you can just use the regular lemons at the store too, not a dealbreaker)
juice of half a lime
4 sprigs of fresh lavender
Bring the water to a boil in a medium pot. Add the sugar and simmer that shit on a low heat for about 5 minutes. Make sure to stir it on the regular. The sugar should be all dissolved in the water by now with no little fucking grains rolling around in there. Turn off the heat and stir in the lemon juice, lime juice, and lavender. Let it cool until it is around room temperature. Take the lavender pieces out but use a fucking spoon and not your fingers if you are going to serve that shit to other people. Put the lemonade in the fridge to cool down all the way. Serve with lemon wedges and a pinch of dried lavender if you want it to look fucking impressive.
makes about 1 quart of chill the fuck out
Lenny Dykstra’s 13,000 Square Foot Mansion
Cost: $18,500,000
Former Phillies legend Lenny Dykstra bought Wayne Gretzky’s custom designed home for just north of $18M, which would be fine and dandy if he wasn’t orchestrating a financial fraud. Dykstra’s prowess as a business guru is exaggerated with falsified financial statements that are exposed when he falls behind on his enormous mortgage. He’s currently serving a three-year prison sentence for grand theft auto and recently plead guilty to bankruptcy fraud. Moral of the story: don’t buy a 13,000 square foot mansion when you’re broke.
per ComplexMag’s
The 25 Dumbest Athlete Purchases of All Time
White people shit.
Bubba Watson’s Dukes of Hazzard Car
Cost: $110,000
Apparently unaware that it’s just a $25,000 used car, professional golfer Bubba Watson shells out six-figures for a piece of mediocre ’80s television history. Watson buys General Lee’s 1969 Dodge Charger, complete with bright orange paint job and Confederate flag detailing. We’re sure that offensive reminder of the Civil War will be a hit in the parking lot at Augusta. Sigh.
White people shit.
